Thursday, July 9, 2009

Best Job Sites

I have been looking for a job lately, like a lot of people. I found a couple of great job sites. I got over a dozen hits in the DC area for a web programmer that are right up my alley. You can find another great job site at the link. It is super easy to search. If you are looking, give it a whirl, and if you are not, still give it a shot. You can always make more money.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

This day in Illuminati History

January 15th 1943

On this date in 1943 the building atop Illuminati North American Installation 23 (NA23) was completed. This building is commonly known as the Pentagon. It is the largest office building in the world. It holds a large portion of the Illuminati’s clerical staff as well as some higher ranking members. However the real secret is what lies underneath.

The Pentagon consists of a total of seven floors, five above ground and two below. They were built under the guise of a need to consolidate administration functions during World War II. However NA23 begins 115 meters below the bottom floor.

The installation has a roughly spherical shape and is 225 floors from top to bottom. The bottom layers primarily house the geothermal power generation stations. The building was designed in 1892 as a research station and to house the primary computing cluster. Many members were tired of commutes to remote locations such as Siberia and Canada. A network of mag-tube tunnels connected NA23 to various locations around North America. This reduced commute time to mere minutes for even those who choose to reside in California.

The original computing cluster occupied over 1.4 million square feet of floor space. A new quantum computer cluster was installed in 1952 and was able to consolidate the computing power into less than 1200 square feet. This had the immediate effect of clearing out a large amount of space for a working biosphere. However in 1962 geneticists were experimenting with a moderately intelligent type of plant life for Mars colonization. The experiments went awry and the plant (later humorously named Yog-Sothoth by a scientist) became self aware and violent. Attempts to exterminate Yog-Sothoth failed. The resilient nature of the plant combined with the inability to use nuclear or anti-matter weapons in a developed area forced the facility to be sealed in 1963.

The plant was designed to survive with very little nutrition in the extremely harsh climate on Mars. The distributed intelligence of the plant means it has no single point of failure. Models based on the number of scientists and other organic matter in the facility estimate that it will be dangerous for another 1500 years. The plant was able to gain a large amount of knowledge from the computer system before the quantum core was destabilized. Energy readings show that it was able to reactivate the geothermal generators as well. NA23 must be constantly monitored to ensure that Yog-Sothoth cannot escape containment. Contamination breach would require immediate destruction of the entire area using a high yield anti-matter ordinance.

NA23 serves as a cautionary reminder. Although the Illuminati continues to do great things, care must be taken. We cannot allow super beings to be created on a whim. All advanced research facilities now use this as a prime example of what can happen if care is not taken. Do not forget the lessons we have learned, or we are doomed to repeat them.

Next Generation Human Engineering Project

The Social Engineering department (SED) in conjunction with the Canadian Advanced Illuminati Research Station (AIRS) continues to make great strides in developing an effective and efficient human population. As many know this was begun with the use of growth hormones in many common types of human feed. These include pork, beef and chicken. Testing originally begun around 1900 and has been slowly ramped up after successful trials. This has created stronger, heartier and more capable people for employment and has had a measureable effect on the economic entropy of developed society. It has also improved maturation in a large number of subjects. The puberty age and therefore the reproductive age of the populations in tested areas has been reduced by several years. The increased risk of certain types of cancer is far outweighed by increase in population afforded by the change. The cancers most commonly develop after the useful working and reproductive life of the population.

Hormones are however of limited use. Generally they can create a stronger population that leads to greater production. This is prevalent in developed populations. They may also have a sedative affect on the population making them easier to control, however the link has not been proven. Many other factors contribute to conformity, such as cigarettes, alcohol, lack of exercise and generally high calorie content of most common foods.

Many of the limits are being overcome using a new method of control that the Illuminati are implementing. Cloned animals are the new future of social engineering. They will allow new levels of control. Genetic control has been used for some time to manipulate non-members. Subjects include a large portion of the media and all non-robotic US presidential candidates. The problem was delivery. It is easy to design and inoculate small portions of a population, but doing so on a large scale was cost prohibitive. Not any more!

AIRS has created a broad spectrum retro-virus that can be encoded into cloned animals. This hearty virus can withstand cooking and stomach acids to pass into human bloodstreams. From there it can have a great number of beneficial effects on the body. Not only will it speed maturation, but it can increase productivity through increased fitness and reduced opposition to authority. The retro-virus can make the subjects easily and directly controllable. Decisions will not be influenced, rather they will be forced. New commands can be encoded on new batches of meat as old messages fade. This will allow precise control of everything from buying habits to the desire to fight for a country.

Initially plans call for the retrovirus to spur consumer actions. During the holiday season an overpriced item will be encoded as a must purchase item. Production can then be specifically matched to demand, increasing overall profits. Later as this new impulse becomes normal, advertising budgets, television programming and many other expensive distractions can be reduced. Meat could be encoded to make people happy just staring at the wall, practicing consumerism, or working late hours for their boss. Essentially we will have as much control over the population as we do over the H.I.L.L.A.R.Y. model robots.

These genetic changes will spur a new era in human happiness. The global economy will reach new levels of economic entropy while the population will find elation everywhere. Full scale deployment is beginning now that the technology is ready; you can read the media coverage – here. We will continue to provide coverage of this exciting new breakthrough right here on Cotidianus Illuminatus.

Monday, January 7, 2008

High Intelligence Limited Life Artificial Robotic Youngster

January 7, 2008

We would like to take some time to thank the Canadian Advanced Illuminati Research Station (AIRS) for the latest evolution of project H.I.L.L.A.R.Y. Each robot has been manufactured to exacting specifications and has been performing nearly flawlessly. The recently publicized moment where the robot was “on the verge of tears” was very believable (coverage can be seen here). Great care must be taken during these public appearances and the robotic telemetry must be carefully monitored. This was the first attempt at a public show of emotion that was not done manually by an Illuminati robot operator. As many people know, fully autonomous emotion expression in robots has often resulted in damages and loss of life. The Hillary model itself has caused the death of eight people.

The current production Hillary model, HP12, has been operating without AI meltdown for 14 months now. This is a new record and if the trend keeps up we could possibly look forward to a stable AI that lasts for many years without a reset. Reliability of the robotic chassis is also improving. Estimates show that the current chassis will last another 21 months before replacement is needed. Pretty soon the “Y” may be taken out of the acronym as the AI will no longer be able to be considered a youngster.

The US presidential race is an excellent forum to test AI constructs. The questions are scripted from a relatively small group to keep the AI working database manageable. Any rigidity of stuttering can be attributed to nervousness. Flaws are quickly pointed out by media, but major problems such as a glowing head or robot explosion can be quickly suppressed. It is also an important test bed for the Social Engineering Department (SED). Responses to the predefined questions can be delivered with mathematical precision. The public reaction can then be assessed very accurately. Subtle rewording of similar responses across the candidates generates a great amount of usable data. This can be later used in a virtually limitless variety of different contexts.

The synergy that exists between the various Illuminati departments is readily apparent in the excellent execution of the US election. Corporate would like to thank everyone involved. Please enjoy the show, and have fun guessing which candidates are robots and which ones are real!

Friday, January 4, 2008

This day in Illuminati History

January 4th, 1923

On this day in 2004 NASA’s Spirit rover landed on Mars. This also coincides with the date of the Illuminati’s first manned mission to Mars. The Martian Explorer was launched from the Tunguska Advanced Illuminati Research Station (AIRS). The station was originally designated site14R. This site was also the same site that tested the anti-matter bomb 15 years earlier. This explosion has been widely publicized as a meteor strike.

The ship was powered by an early version of the now standard anti-matter gravity drive. The chassis used for the ship was also a precursor of the P16I (production) saucer platform. The remote location was needed as active camouflage was not yet fully tested on spacecraft. Flight time to Mars was 48 hours, 43 minutes, 22 seconds. This time has been reduced slightly with future revisions of the spacecraft; however the human body is unable to withstand the forces of acceleration and deceleration required for faster flights. Unmanned flights are now down to 4 hours.

The ship, christened “L'Infini,” performed flawlessly. A GPS like system was deployed and high resolution three dimensional maps were constructed of the entire Martian surface. A permanent survey station was maintained until 1932. This station now primarily serves as a point of interest for those who wish to visit the polar resort.

The primary goal of the mission was a resource survey used for computer predictions of future colonization patterns. Current plans are for the first standard propulsion manned mission in 2036. Gravity propulsion will be released to the public in 2094. Although the high cost of anti-matter will be an obstacle to mass colonization until the high-volume anti-matter production technique is released. Terraforming will begin shortly after gravity propulsion.

According to computer models, global warming and over-population should be the primary problems faced by humanity on Earth after 2100. This will facilitate the need for a mass exodus to Mars. Terraforming will be complete by 2130. Much of the earth’s funds will be used to purchase transport by Illuminati owned bodies thus solidifying worldwide control. A relatively small starter population of about 10 million people will then be moved to Mars, which will be a planet wholly controlled by Illuminati owned bodies. Of note is that the Illuminati are now testing genetically modified plants and animals designed for transplant to mars. Trials are scheduled to begin for human modification in 2052.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

This day in Illuminati History

As part of our effort to better communicate the workings of our organization, this blog will host periodic highlights of important events in Illuminati history. We hope that you find the information enlightening and it gives you a better perspective on the importance of our work.

January 3, 1959 - Alaska achieves statehood

Many people are aware of the publicized version of how Alaska became part of the Illuminati territory known as the United States. What is not well known is the important role that the Illuminati played. Official records show that the territory was sold to the US on April 9th, 1867 for $7.6 million. This was a small sum for the resources that the territory contained.

The information about those resources had not been released for use by the general public at this time. The relatively primitive computer model at the time showed that it would be best to allow the transaction to go through. This would create a rush of people from the more easily accessible US once the resources were released. After much of the easily accessible gold was depleted and settlements established, the Russians would lay claim to the territory again. Predicted timeframe for Russian claim was 1963, about 5 years after a large oil discovery would be announced. This would be shortly after the predicted formation of the Communist Enemy Department (CED). The CED would be formed from the members of the scheduled Nazi Enemy Department (NED).

As many members are aware, WWII was not executed according to plan. The Japanese were not under the complete control of the Illuminati at that time. This forced the release of certain technologies before they were scheduled. These advances include improvements to the internal combustion engine, certain production techniques and of course the nuclear bomb. These technologies would precipitate a great increase in the need for oil to maintain economic entropy. Computer models showed that if open war was executed in Alaska as planned it would create a long term global recession. The best model showed the US keeping the territory without opposition and the decision was made to allow it to become a state.

Future plans for Alaska call for a large amount of real estate development. Global warming models from 1848 are holding steady and Alaska is predicted to be a primary habitable zone by 2144. Industry will be centered on mining and salvage expeditions into the great desert region located in what used to be the US and Mexico.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

2007 Achievements

As it is the start of the New Year the Illuminati would like to take some time to recognize the efforts and achievements of some of its key projects. Although we cannot name the organizers of these projects we can show the top five most effective projects. This has been one of our most successful years in history in both creating new spheres of influence and helping to entrench ourselves in established social, economic and military aspects of the global community.

5. Media Control

Continued control of the media is an important aspect of our current goals. We would like to thank the media department for continuing their outstanding efforts. The public has very little perspective on the state of the rest of the world. The poor continue to be poor and millions continue to die from preventable disease. Giving the same televised and print priority to much less socially consequential stories has continued to keep the public in the dark about any real problems. Some key decisions made by the media department include continuing comprehensive coverage of the Natalie Holloway case, as well as the promotion of Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton as newsworthy items. The coverage of the US presidential race has also been well orchestrated. Although the outcome has been predetermined, the coverage seems real and important even though it is ultimately unimportant.

4. US Presidential Election

Creating a convincing election process in the Illuminati’s largest and most advanced region is a difficult task. The special team put together for the US presidential election has done an exceptional job. After selecting the candidates based on predetermined criteria and preselecting the ultimate winner they have coordinated well with the media department to create an impressive charade. Choosing to include a woman candidate and a minority candidate has made for exceptionally high visibility but there are a number of other notable participants. We believe that the current team, made of both new members and election team veterans, will continue to run a show on par with those of the past.

3. Voluntary Population Submission

Our Social Engineering Department (SED) continues to impress. The gentle shift from group social interaction to solitary interaction greatly sped up in 2007. The heavy promotion and development of video games and Internet based technology has helped remove a large portion of the population from traditional social lifestyles. These themes are being pushed worldwide; as people are separated from society they are much more complacent and easily controlled. They are far less likely to revolt against changes to their current adjusted behavior. This has been a very effective means of reducing opposition to all kinds of activity.

2. Control Model Shift

Although there has been some internal resistance to change, a shift from a Christian model of control to a nationalistic model of control has been effective. SED has done an excellent job with the transition. After coordinating various terror activities in the early 2000s a shift has been affected to ensure control is maintained. This is done by adjusting viewpoints from a weakening religious viewpoint to a more easily established nationalistic view.

1. Enemy Creation

Of course much of this change would be ineffective without an enemy. The enemy is the pivot with which to institute change. Again, SED has done an exceptional job developing our current enemy. They recognized the need in the early 1980s when models predicted the weakening of the “communist” model. They have created an equally difficult to define “terrorist” model. The seeds that were planted many years ago are now growing into a fine crop. With an enemy to fight, an element of fear can be added to any changes that need to be implemented. If a new measure of control may get some public opposition, terrorism will help push it through. This has allowed for a significant increase in global population control and tracking. With this new enemy also comes a great number of revenue streams for the Illuminati to take advantage of. The effort has earned our benefactors countless billions.

Good job to all of our members, continue to keep up the good work!

Welcome

Hello and welcome to the new face of the Illuminati. As with any organization steeped in as deep and storied a history as ours, change takes time. After some intense debate on the merits of a corporate blog the decision was made to offer this website for the benefit of our members. We hope to offer timely and useful information for the further advancement or our cause. The primary goal of this blog is to clarify the Illuminati’s position on many current issues.

I will not spend time going over our basic principals in depth. All members have had the appropriate hypnopaedic and drug assisted information rectification. Everyone should be comfortable with the nature of the information and concepts presented here.

You will see many changes as this blog evolves. I would like to thank Google. As they are one of the most successful of our information deformation projects it only seems fitting to allow them to support this blog. I would also like to thank everyone that submitted ideas for the blog and lobbied to move the organization into a new era of effective communication.